// i wasn't born seeing things
// i was raised to NOT see

// to seek validation
// recognition
// and approval

// those were my survival instincts
// that i learned from family
// before i could remember

// i escaped parents' house at 16
// and started seeking
// freedom and success

// meaning

// more validation
// more recognition
// more approval

// from women
// friends
// colleagues, and clients

// and got plenty of it
// but it was never enough
// because I had a black hole

// right in my chest
// with no bottom

// i started looking for meaning
// in psychology and biz books
// training & courses
// meditation
// retreats

// 95% of knowledge
// and 5% of practice
// felt close to "enlightenment"

// until 28
// then 0% credit expired
// life started showing me
// what I avoided looking into
// inside and outside

// i thought i was progressing
// in fact, i was running away

// from people
// from life
// from my shadow

// at 35, in the jungle of Peru
// after 2 weeks in a camp
// ayahuasca ceremonies
// I thought I got "initiated"

// into a new cause
// "serving" others

// so I abandoned my !profitable!
// construction business
// to embark on a "holy" mission

// kept ignoring that hole inside
// until a row of events
// started collapsing my life
// sphere by sphere
// to draw my attention

// and it worked
// i started looking for ways

// psychotherapy
// hypnotherapy
// regressology

// everything worked at its level
// nothing lasted

// until i found my Mentor
// who taught me shadow work
// "no bs" view on life and self
// practices that transform
// irreversibly

// illusions started collapsing
// very loud
// old me was dead
// new me wasn't born yet

// needed to start from scratch

// develop new senses
// observe instead of thinking
// notice instead of drowning

// 5 years of "windshield wiping"
// and i started seeing things
// more clearly - inside out

// integration of parts became visible

// friends noticed
// and started asking for help
// then came their friends